Monday, 30 April 2007

Spider-Man 3: Net-works???

Sony Pictures’ Spider-Man 3 hit the screens in India with a record 588 prints on the 4th of May 2007। Of this, the number of English prints is a mere 162 compared with the dubbed Hindi version being released with 261 prints, followed by 78 prints for Tamil and Telugu। While 3 prints have been released in the IMAX format, 6 prints have been brought out for the privileged Bhojpuri masses। (Source: Economic Times) Two successful sagas, historic box-office collections, two vanquished villains, spanking brand rejuvenation, and plenty of anticipation – Spider-Man 3 had to surpass the unmatched precedents of its antecedents। It sure has more to offer than before; 3 horrendous villains, a longer movie, two costumes for Spider-Man, lot of drama, and of course - a double-chin for Tobey Maguire। It lacks the quick narrative of Episode 1 and ends up being a lot like Episode 2 – dry and drab. The movie is peppered with refrains of feel-good dialogues and dilemmatic discourses. Spider-Man 3 packs in more drama than the quintessential punch and ends up being a 3 hour sermonizing session. The English version didn’t appeal to me personally. I opine it would be more interesting to watch it in the regional languages. What would the villains be called? Green Goblin or Hara Haiwan, Dr. Octavius or Doctor Ashtabaahu, Sandman or Retibandar, Venom or Vish-wanaath. According to ‘Mumbai Mirror’ with the inimitable Ravi Kissen dubbing for Toby Maguire in Bhojpuri, this is what Spider-Man would sound like – “Hum maakad maanav hain. Hum udkar aayab aur tohaar tetuva dabaa deb!”(I am Spider-Man. I’ll come charging at you, and throttle you to death.) I am sure that would be worth watching! Here is my conjecture, what the Hindi version would be like: Uncle Ben’s (Banwari Chacha) distinct – “With great power comes great responsibility” in Hindi would be something like this: Jis tarah Suhaagan apne suhaag ke bina adhoori hoti hai, Usi tarah apaar shakti zimmedaari ke saath hi poori hoti hai! “It is about making choices” - This is what Spidey would be saying to himself in Hindi, Musibat mein apne dil ki suno, Aur phir sahi paryaay chuno, Bhagwaan se yehi duaa ha ki, Tum hameshaa shaandaar jaal buno! Sony Pictures could cash in on the Spider-Man franchise. Corporate franchises would be an economically viable option to market the web weaver’s merchandise. Dedicated outlets catering to Spider-Man related paraphernalia would make for a successful commercial investment. The stores could be innovatively christened ‘Web World’. These would sell toys, outfits, t-shirts, DVDs (regional, too), games, books, posters, coffee mugs, etc. all based on the web-wonder. The catch-line of the store could be – “Jaal ki baazi lagaane waale ko JAALBAAZ kehte hain!” Finally, for the song-fanatic audience, the following item number could be thrown in at the end of the movie. It would have girls gushing over Spider-Man as he swings around the city to save damsels-in-distress. The tune is courtesy the song “Mirchi re Mirchi” from the movie “Jurmana” starring Mithun Chakraborty and Rambha. Makda, oye makda, Kamaal kar gaya. Dil ko churake mere, Bura haal kar gaya! Or maybe models singing paeans of praises by rendering the following song set to the tune of ‘Kajra Re’, from ‘Bunty aur Babli’ starring Amitabh Bachchan, Abhishek Bachchan and Aishwarya Rai! Makda re makda re, Mujhe tune kyun pakda re? Jakda re, jakda re, Baahon mein kyun jakda re? I am sure, with such value-additions; Spider-Man would continue to cast a spell on the worldwide web of people. Any other suggestions?

38 comments:

Srikrishnan said...

Yawn...Who cares Adi...

aditya said...

This post has been updated on the 7th of May 2007. Your comments are awaited!

Srikrishnan said...

Didnt u get a better topic to write about??? it seems like a copy-paste with a few changes here and there of some newspaper article! Sorry buddy, me not impressed with this one!

deepti said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
deepti said...

Good one....but nothin can supercede the standards set up by ur historic "Jaan tere Naam" blog...
Leave Spidey and his fellow hollywood counterparts....

The historical Mithunda flicks, latest Bhojpuri movies...beckon the sacred portals of ur blog....
ha..ha!!

Vivek said...

I beg to differ with Srikrishnan. One has read enough drab and boring reviews in the newspapers regarding the flick, and looks forward to such intuitive comments on the same. Whilst one may state that who is bothered by whether a movie is watchable or not, the point is that when a movie is watchable, one is obliged to tell one's friends and acquaintances about it, just so that they also may enjoy the experience. Conversely, if a movie is plain unwatchable, one is even more obliged to inform one's near and dear ones, so as to ensure that they do not waste their hard-earned money on such trash and consequently lose their sanity.
You have lived up to your responsibilities. I salute you, Adi!

Maya said...

Review accha hai...Nice shayaris and all...But,what a transition,adi!!!
Jaan Tere Naam se SpiderMan 3??? Hmmmm...That's saying something :-))

I think you'd have done better to stick to loyalties.Ravi Kissen ka naya movie release hua hai - Ram Balram.I saw posters all over the place,that's how I know.You should've seen it and written a blog on it,yaar.Personally,
I think I'd have enjoyed it more ;-))

By the way,are you planning to write all your blogs on the different movies
you watch? Then this is not a blog,title it as "Movie Review Site" ;-))

The_jackal said...

Damn yar, I was really waiting for this movie expectantly... Have not got a single positive review till now..

Wonder if u should really take the pleasure of watching a telugu version here...got nutin better to do anywys...

Btw adi,

"Jis tarah Suhaagan apne suhaag ke bina adhoori hoti hai,
Usi tarah apaar shakti zimmedaari ke saath hi poori hoti hai! "

This is really imaginative...but cmin back to my original 'jerk' self, i think you have ended up using a kind of oxymoron.. adhoori & poori..

Waise, baki ke sab hindi translations khud likhe kya... not bad yar!! :))

Swapna said...

Nice Review.
Rating:* * * */2
movie is good but not as good as 1 & 2.gets a little melodramatic after d interval.was very much like apna bollywood flick... especially in the end where Harry is abt to die and apna Spidey crying(reminded of Sholay-courtesy my friend).
in Bhojpuri they can adapt the climax of sholay 'hari bhai humka chodkar mat jaava... hamare bachva ko kahani kaun sunaayega?'
sorry for the awful lines.i am really not good at bhopuri.
njoid reading this!

Nitya said...

Finally a good one! It was really nice one. But i'm still gonna see the movie! How would Tamil be?

aditya said...

Thanks again people for the overwhelming responses!

[srikrishnan]: I agree, I could not find a better topic. Of course, I assure you the next topic would be something different. Will try better next time!

[Deepti],[Maya]: I am planning to watch a Bhojpuri movie very soon. And it goes without saying, I will definitely write about that!!! I will consciously try and not write about movies for the next couple of posts!

[Vivek],[Nitya]: Thanks again for the fantastic comments.

[jackal aka Rajesh]: You are bang on target. The suhaagan... usage indeed is incorrect. But kya karein, I could not come up with anything better!
Btw, please watch it in Telugu. Am eager to hear your comments on that one.

[Swapna]: That was superb! You have the makings of a budding Bhojpuri-dialogue-writer in you. Please pursue it. These were the kind of suggestions I was looking for. You are the first one to pour in with such brilliant ideas. Cheers!

Aarti said...

Hey, that was simply awesome!!! Really liked your review.
Especially the hindi, Bhojpuri translations, character names...
'world-wide web','Jaalbaaz',item song... Most of the Indian cinema requisites were there, voila!!!
May be you've missed out on the rain-dance between Spidey and the 'other woman' witnessed by the heroine. But that's OK. Anyway, Indian cinema is becoming more non-conventional these days!!!

This one was aptly Adi in form. Liked a lot. Much better than Jaan Tere Naam, I felt.

Btw, is Spider called Maakad in Bhojpuri? Whoa!!! 1 more language you are learning, must say! Gotta learn from you.
But Maakad stands for Monkey in marathi, i guess!!!

Mahesh said...
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Mahesh said...

hmmn...u seemed to have become quite creative with this blog. the hindi n bhojpuri lines u have coined are simply superb. and yeah, that translation of 'With great powers comes great responsibility' really takes the cake. but this blog lacks the kind of humour i expect from you. there is not much excitement. but yeah, u always score with ur choice of words. All in all, a good blog but u can definitely come up with something better.

The Devil's Paradise....... said...

wonnderful.. fantastic... majja aaagya.... but the i found it better when mayank shekar and mumbai mirror wrote this in their paper.... so the next time think abt writing something which is atleast 50% original....this one was barely 30%.. shudn be much of an ask knowing ur literary exploits....

Roopali said...

Hmm quite a good one,esp for the translations really liked them.
So this was the most awaited article adi that u were tellin was gonna explode?I surely don think so!
Nice review of the film but try and come up with some innovative ideas which I know u r surely capable of!

Kavita said...

Hi okey dokey article. You can do better. but yes the translations and songs were gr8. Next something really new and innovative would be interesting to read. But yes as your pal Vivek said you saved quite few people's money. Looking forward to some tadakta phadakta stuff soon.

Neeraj said...

"Makda re makda re,
Mujhe tune kyun pakda re?
Jakda re, jakda re,
Baahon mein kyun jakda re? "

woh kya thaa?? Aditya, you seem to be milking your creativity in rather unusual yet amusing ways. I beg to differ with ppl who found this post mediocre. It perhaps requires a connoisseur to appreciate GHAATI humour..haha :-)

Though this post has taken a long time coming. Will appreciate if you can squeeze in one post each fortnight for our benefit.

aditya said...

[Aarti]: Spider-Man is indeed called Maakad -Maanav. I guess it is no coincidence that makad means monkey in Marathi!

I was looking for more suggestions for the regional versions. Thanks for pouring in with the rain-dance theme. That would be a good idea - Spider-Man singing "Rain is falling chama cham cham!"

aditya said...

[Mahesh], [Roopali], [Kavita]: Will definitelt try (do not believe this!) and write something better the next time. In the meantime, please keep visiting, commenting, and suggesting innovations! And yes, The blockbuster post is yet to come! I am still working on it...

[Shreedhar]: Originality is expecting too much from me! Anyway, will try and steal stuff from a paper that you don't read! :) Thanks for the candid comments. But I was looking for your "hatke" suggestions to add to the post.... Where are they?

aditya said...

[Neeraj]: Koi toh hai, jo meri tarah sochta hai!

Such inane lyrics come naturally to me. I have also resolved to post atleast a couple of articles a month. Let's see!

Btw, the same applies to you. Do post more regularly.

what's in a name said...

You don't need suggesstions from me, Adi.
This post of yours was awesome. I've fallen for it.
Aur na sirf Angrezi ka, balki Hindi aur Bhojpuri ka pradarshan bhi tumne bakhoobi kiya hai.
All in one!!!

Roopali said...

Adi much to ur disappointment and contrary to ur review Spider man is a big hit and many people have really liked it!so u better watch out in the near future when writing film reviews!

A Bizzare Mindd said...

hey adi..contrary to other posts , i think tis one was really different..unique i must..btw nice translations...good effort..like neeraj rightfully pointed out..only a chosen few can actually understand and like the GHAATI humor..nice one man..

Phaniprasad M said...

really nice one... AND funny. i was suprised2 read that hardly 40% of Spidey3's prints r the original ones.

btw, fantastic 4's sequel is about2 hit theatres..so what'll it be? laajawab chaar? or maybe just.. laa chaar in short.

humbl devil said...

maar daala...
o...
maar daala...

aditya said...

[Roopali]: Point noted!

[Phaniprasad]: "Laa...chaar" - Hmm GOOD ONE!!!

[abizarremind aka Varun]: Thanks a ton!

[humbl devil aka Vivek]: Don't worry, if there's any life left in you, I'll kill that with my next post! :)

humbl devil said...

you can only try and kill the devil....
muahahahahah

krishnakbs said...

Cool article! :)
Really enjoyed reading it..Always had an issue with the Hindi dialogues of English movies...sometimes the translation is too literal, when they dub a movie, resulting in some unintentional humor. :D
And the melodramatic dialogues that you used!! WOW!! Words aint enough!
Keep writing! Look forward to reading more on the same lines!!!


And thank you for commenting on my blog..The particular articles, that you pointed out, where unfinished, as they had to do with literature...and had a bad experience of people cutting and pasting the articles for assignments.. :(
Please keep visiting!
www.freewebs.com/krishnakbs

humbl devil said...

when's the next installment???


http://www.makkadman.com/

A Bizzare Mindd said...

check ma post nd lemme kno wat u think..cheers...

humbl devil said...

mere bhai, you have been tagged...

details at my abode...

nascentagain said...

wahahahahha......damn tat was so hilarious my fellow blogger!.....u knw wat....ravi kishen is planning to make a bhojpuri version o spidy!!.....wahahhahahahah

blog updated!

Vivek said...

new blog. pl. check.

Phaniprasad M said...

Blog updated. Kindly check

Neeraj said...

Knock Knock..koi hai?

The Devil's Paradise....... said...

trinngggggg!!!!!new post

mini said...

adi.....see finally i too am writing a comment.......u knw something which stands clear here is the fact that u too r using embellished language and there isnt much content :P